Always

Said goodbye to my Grandpa this week.
In the end, it was the right time for him. Perhaps not for us, but it's never a good time to loose someone.
I know he's with Grandma now, that's the important part.

I think my favorite part of the last few months with him was that I could always just reach out and hold his hand, no words, no explanations. When either of us needed it.
So I've decided that's not going to end.

Other news, because my blog posts have been severely lacking this week.

Winter is coming. The leaves are almost all down, the air is getting crisper, and we're making Thanksgiving plans. Before we know it, the world will be white (fingers crossed for a snowy season this time around) and it will be the season of cozy nights and family time.

I love how much this season revolves around giving. Giving thanks, giving presents... Giving love, and for my family, giving support in difficult times.

So I'm throwing myself whole heartedly into it this year. Crafting up a storm to make various christmas presents and cards and cookies, making list upon list of things I'm thankful for for Thanksgiving, and in this year specifically, giving a lot of my time and energy to this business.

Which brings me to my Spring Wellness Event! (temporary title.)

Planning is starting full swing. Will be creating a facebook page before the end of 2012, but there's always my general facebook page. I have so many people on board already. I appreciated the mailing list requests!! I will keep you all informed.

So far confirmed events are Yoga, Kai Chi Do, a group meditation, and some various singers and speakers. There will be light food and some community organizations that relate to the message. Lots of socializing, very laid back. Any ideas or inquiries are more than welcome.

Much love your way as the wind gets colder. I hope you all find ways to warm your heart this season.

Celebration And Sadness

“We sometimes choose the most locked up, dark versions of the story, but what a good friend does is turn on the lights, open the window, and remind us that there are a whole lot of ways to tell the same story.”
~Shauna Niequist

It's been a really rough few weeks. Lots of good and bad things happening in short bursts.

But instead of taking up my small piece of your time with a lamenting tale about the struggles of my family at present, I'm going to remind you, and more importantly myself, that life is about the celebration in the struggles.

Long story short, in the chaos of going back and forth from the hospital and keeping people updated on my Grandfather's situation, I did my part by watching Sierra Mae, my beautiful niece, so that my aunt and mom could be at the hospital dealing with things.
And her smile made me smile. And after a conversation with a good friend and an afternoon of giggle-conversation I realized that I needed to stop being so negative.

Which given the circumstances felt impossible. Like the positive energy well that I'm so quick to give out of was completely dry.

My birthday is in a few days, and I was all set to skip it. Didn't feel like celebrating at the moment. Would've rather wallowed, I guess. But now I see why that was so against my message.
Life is reminding me that there is celebration and sadness, and sometimes they both happen at once.

So here we are. On a night in the middle of a totally up in the air situation that I could write pages on, I'm choosing instead to celebrate the life of a beautiful little girl who made my day.

SIERRA MAE

In case you haven't noticed, she's beautiful. And I love her.

Thanks for being the angel this family needs, babygirl.

Going Public

So, I'm officially a brand.

That's right, folks. I'm officially official... whatever that means.

I have a twitter (@SpreadingTheChi) and a facebook page (Spreading The Chi).
Follow me! Like me! Help me get going.

In other business-y news, I'm officially...

...launching the planning stages for my mindfulness event at the peace wall!

A day next spring all about promoting a positive mindset and how changing your thoughts can change your world. Including yoga, light food, music, Kai Chi Do, meditation, speakers... and anything else that comes my way!

Now would be the time to email me if you're interested in helping out or teaching - or just if you want to be on the email list for updates!!

Let me know: SpreadingTheChi@gmail.com

Can you feel the magic in the air?

Anyone will tell you I'm the biggest disney princess fan there is.

And I spend a good amount of time reading/watching/writing in the fantasy genre. I love magic, and happy endings, and love, and pretty places and castles and all of the cheesy things that make up a fairytale.

I've always wanted to be a princess when I grow up. I still do.
So today after watching yet another fairytale themed show, I realized my life actually is turning into a fairytale. Because the one thing that fairytales have... that makes that world different from ours... is magic.

And chi is my magic.

It's invisible, it's powerful, it does amazing things. It makes us breathe and live. Smile. Cry. All of these crazy things that we take for granted so easily.

So, with all that said, here's my inspiration for the day:

HOW TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A FAIRYTALE
by Jessica Lynne McClelland.

1) Believe in something. Whether it's science, magic, happiness, friendship, love... whatever it is that clicks with your system, believe it with your whole heart. Give yourself to it. Embrace it. Always allow yourself to be amazed by it.

2) Enjoy the little things. See all of the beauty thats around you, even if you see it everyday.

3) Fall in love. Every fairytale has a cliche romance. Create your own. As many times as you want. Maybe falling in love can hurt you, but its also one of the most beautiful emotions out there. So let it happen.

4) Go on adventures. Daily. What good prince or princess doesn't have an adventure or two to share? Maybe it's just going shopping, or for a walk. Maybe it's a new place with your best friend. A vacation you've been saving up for. Make your own adventures, and get excited about them.

5) Sing!! Or write. Or draw. Or build. Or make. Create something. Express yourself, and do it often. Make it a crucial part of who you are.

6) Be a good friend. Do kind things for people and allow them to do kind things back. Fill your life with beautiful people with their own fairytales.


I know it's silly, but there's nothing in that list that will make your life worse, so if you're a fairytale lover like me, maybe it'll give you some good inspiration.
Maybe it'll help you make your own fairytale.

I love you all so much.

goodbye negativity

So, I take back my frustration from earlier today. I had an amazing class with two beautiful girls. And we created the energy of a hundred. So awesome. The fact that people can come do Kai Chi Do and that I can be a part of making them feel good... it's so inspiring. I just hope Kai Chi Do can do for them what it did for me, and that I can let go of myself enough to help them get there.

I'm so humbled to be on this journey.

In other news, I have a fun little life renovation to share.

It's called 7 Steps to Happy (another yogajournal find, with my own tweaks)

1) Start Your Day Bright. Instead of worrying about to do lists or work or appointments, spend some time thinking about how much you've accomplished in the past few days. Even little things like making food or spending time with friends. Be grateful that your body is healthy and carries you through every day. Enjoy a few minutes of just being happy to be alive. Make that your routine, consistently, every single morning, before anything else.

2) Smile. Whenever you think of it. No matter how bad it is. Trust your body to know what a smile means.

3) Add some mini-yoga into your day. Whenever you're overwhelmed, take a minute, stand tall and steady, and breathe. Elongate your spine, and feel grounded. If you're in a private place, incorporate some forward folds and loud exhales.

4) Use music. Music effects your heartbeat and breathing rhythms. So when you're overwhelmed, play some even paced music, like bob marley. Give yourself a minute to close your eyes and listen to the beat. Then continue your day.

5) Make tea. Take time to smell it before you brew it, to feel the warmth of the water, to watch it steep. Inhale the steam. Enjoy every sensation. Examine your first sip.

6) Go outside and walk. Pay attention to each sense individually. Everything you feel. The air, the ground, the sun. Everything you hear. Everything you smell. Build the experience around you and focus on nothing else. This is true meditation.

And finally...

7) Kiss yourself goodnight. Finish your day with a mini pampering ritual. Whether it's simply putting some nice lotion on your hands and face or giving yourself a mini foot massage. Maybe a meditation. Finish each day with a moment for you, by you. Love yourself.

It's Not Hard For Me to Love You.

Things are moving forward.
Starting my yoga teacher training in February, teaching a class every week...
Looking into my hollistic health degree.

Really, really excited.
I think.

I mean, yes, in theory, I am super excited. But. There are things that aren't going smoothly. Besides the family drama over the past two weeks, which there has been an ample amount of, I'm super stressed at work, and I'm not getting good attendance at my classes. It's difficult for me to admit that, because I feel like I've failed something, but I know mostly it's just a matter of getting the word out, and the confidence up. The audience I'm targeting is mainly the high school crowd, and I know that it's hard for a lot of high schoolers to step into something new that they know nothing about. But getting into the school itself has it's own set of complications. So I'm kind of at a stand still. And I'd love to just push myself all over the place promoting it, but there's the issue of working like 50 hours a week. Which is important because I need to pay for my yoga teacher training and school, and the only way to do that is work as hard as I can.

So.

It's frustrating. I wish I could just step out of my work and give myself completely to this life. And I know that time will come. And I understand the whole "this is the real world, and things aren't that easy". Everybody with a dream has this problem. I get it. I'm just voicing some of my specific annoyances.

I should be able to just breathe into the situation and let it happen, because it WILL happen. But the attendance at my classes is bumming me out.

I read an article in yoga journal (shityogissay?) about the internal essence of self vs. the parts of you that change, and how it's okay to be emotional about the external parts of you in either direction, but that you need to stay connected to that steady part of you to stay sane. And as I write this I'm thinking there's a lesson in that. The external parts right now are wearing me down, but the internal parts are staying the same. I will get where I'm going. I need to connect more with the inside and let it happen. Let the present exist, and be confident in the future.

Late Night Wedding Thoughts

Sparkles and Flowers
Swirling a room of smiles
Happy greetings become age old stories
Laughter builds countless memories
And love.
So much pure, simple love.
It's a beautiful day
Full of friends and family
Sillines and special words
Full of everything but you.

This day
So perfectly planned
Was lacking in a wisdom and grace
That only you could provide.
The only gaps in this fabric of togetherness
Were the moments when I should have heard you laugh
At your grandaughters dance moves
Or hear your voice
Reminding me with an all knowing smile to cover my drink.
Gaps that I was sure couldn't be filled.

But at some point
Amidst the business and socializing
I felt less empty.
And all of a sudden
There you were.
In a story of times gone by
In the drop of a tear during a toast.
In a groom dancing with a little girl
Or a brief inclination to, yes,
cover my drink.
In a smile
In a laugh
In a picture.
In a dance against all odds
between a grandfather and his beautiful bride.

You filled every moment
and brightened every smile.
Your soul lives in all of our hearts.

So yes
I still miss you
I love you more than words can say.
But Grandma?
Thanks for coming.
And just so you know?
You looked beautiful tonight.