Interesting words

Why complicate life?
Missing someone? Call
Want to meet up? Invite
Want to be understood? Explain
Have questions? Ask
Don't like something? Say it.
Like something? State it.
Want something? Ask for it.
Love someone? Tell them.
Every day.

What can I say?

"Simple truths and circumstance, things that aren't about romance. Wherever I go, this still feels like home to me now."

Ron Pope gets me through nights like tonight.

Anyway, I did Kai Chi Do tonight. It was beautiful. (Go figure.)
It's such a nice feeling to take that first fire breath and to know that I have everything I need right there, in that moment. Pure, simple, complete happiness. No matter what my day was like.

It's so empowering to know I can find that with just one breath.

But here's the issue. When I do Kai Chi Do, my mind is flooded with things I want to say. This I want to feel, to whisper, to yell, to laugh about... So many thoughts. And they're beautiful. They're such great things to have fill my head. But I can't get them out through my mouth, and I don't know why.

Where is that confidence that I have when I'm not thinking about it? As soon as I'm in that situation, it slips away. It's holding my back. My voice is escaping me. My thoughts are getting in the way. And I know that's a step I need to take. I need to free those thoughts. What's the harm? I know from the bottom of my heart I have things to say, and from the confort of my home, my laptop, my cell phone, I can do it. But all of a sudden when I'm right there, ready to just breathe it out... something stops me.

Is it really just confidence? Cause I've good oodles of that in lots of other situations. It's a weird duality that taking up a lot of my time.

Then I had this whole "throat chakra" inspiration. (I'm not sure exactly where I stand with the chakra system. But I do believe in energy. I do believe in important energy places in the body. And I believe in more than I can comprehend, so with that disclaimer, I will continue.)

Here's a simple throat chakra definition:


"The aspects of expressing and receiving. Expressing can be in the form of communicating what one wants and what one feels, or it can be an artistic expression, as an artist painting, a dancer dancing, a musician playing music, using a form for expressing and bringing to the outside what was within. Expressing is related to receiving, as in "Ask, and ye shall receive."

This chakra is associated with listening to one's intuition, which guides one in an optimal flow, in which one sees one's goals manifest, and it seems that the Universe provides all their needs with no effort on their part at all. It's a state of Grace. Abundance, therefore, is associated with this chakra, as is the aspect of unconditional receiving necessary to accept the abundance of the Universe.

This is the first level of consciousness in which one perceives directly another level of Intelligence, and experiences one's interaction with this other Intelligence.

Metaphysically, this chakra is related to creativity, creating, manifesting in the physical world the fulfillment of one's goals."

Kinda sounds like it lines up with my problem, right?
So maybe my body is telling me the next step in my journey is to find my voice. To let it out. And most importantly, to trust it to carry me to the next chapter.

Introducing: (name TBA)

I had a spark of inspiration. And I'm gonna make it happen.

I was having lunch with Daddy the other day at the peace wall and I was thinking about all of the negative going on. Health issues, politics (see earlier rant..), family drama.. It can get overwhelming. And I looked around at the beautiful place, took a deep breath, and realized what I had just done had made my world so much brighter.

I want to share that.

So that's the initial premise. I'm going to have an event at the peace wall full of positivity. Yoga, Kai Chi Do, meditation, talking, eating, smiling... It's going to be beautiful. Drum circles and singing and lots of happy.
So, that's the initial plan. As I keep going with the details I will keep you all posted.

So much love. Let's do it.

Silly Politics.

Sat down to write up my introduction blog post for my Mindfulness event (name to come) and I overheard the stupid debates on the news. Went onto facebook and saw random headlines people posted about which side said what. It's an avalanche of one ridiculous accusation after another and the worst part is that the issues they're discussing aren't even worth talking about. It's not like they're talking about politics. They're playing a stupid game, and people are actually buying into it. This election is going to be based off of the stupidest things...

Where is this country going?

I apologize. That was negative and ranty. It's just... I want so much better for this nation. It really is a great one with SO much potential. Anyway, that was a rant and I'm going to go back to my initial purpose. So bye. Read the new post please.

Positivity

Good intentions aren't always enough. Sometimes life smacks you in the face.

Tonight is one of those nights.

God and Medication

In the interest of full disclosure I will say that due to unforeseen circumstances I am off medication temporarily. As in until thursday when I can get a refill.

I know those of you who know me know that I'd rather just be off medication totally, but when I do that I'm going to do it right. So I can eliminate these headaches and dizzy spells. And I'm definitely noticing a change in my mood, so there's work to do in that department also.

That being said, today was a pretty amazing day. I met with the Pastor at my family's home church. Her name is Wendy and she's new to us.

I don't go to church much anymore, mostly because I work. But also because I've been all over the place in my spiritual life. But I do see it's beauty and the peace it brings to so many people's hearts. And I do believe in... something. Just the words get all jumbled. And church likes to un jumble them in ways that don't always sit well with me.

Anyway, Pastor Wendy was intriguing to me, so I went and sat with her. We ended up talking for hours. About so many things. What stood out for me was the idea of sparating the "church" concept and the "god" concept. Which I think doesn't happen nearly as much as it should. And they are two entirely different, though related, things. You can have God without church, but not church without God.

Anyway, it's a lot to think about, which we all know I'm good at doing. In fact I can almost guarantee I will over think it numerous times. But the point is, I got some very good fuel for my spiritual discovery mill today. And I'm excited to see where it takes me.

I want to get into the event I'm planning, but enough is enough for one night. I will touch base tomorrow again, hopefully.

I love you all. Sweet Dreams.

Stand Up To Cancer

There was a special on HBO tonight, Stand Up To Cancer. Everything is so inspiring. So emotional, but so inspiring. There's no promised happy ending, or ending of any kind in sight, and it blows my mind the way these people smile and move on. Keep living. Keep breathing, even when the next year or week or even day isn't guaranteed. Three year olds calling themselves ninjas as they go in for another treatment even though the chance is slim. A beautiful six year old girl smiling and laughing as they talk about her next spinal tap and bone marrow transplant as if they were discussing her outfit for the first day of school. How is it that such terrible situations can affect something unjustifiable amount of people, of children in this world and yet we're worried about who's getting elected and what they're going to to for the economy. I mean, I'm not belittling the importance of our nation's economic standing but come on. There should be priorities. Not America priorities, not political priorities, human priorities. Like curing a disease that has directly or indirectly effected almost every single person on this planet. What are we doing? I know times are tough, I know we don't have a lot and things get stressful and everybody has issues. But just for one second, think about how it would feel to look you father, you wife, you brother, you daughter in the eye and know they don't have much time left. Know that there are not enough resources for scientists to pursue the ideas that might save their lives. I don't know about you, but I can't find it in myself to look that six year old girl in the eye and say "I'm sorry, but I need this fifty dollars to buy a new shirt, so I can't help the doctors heal you." Just because you're not facing it doesn't mean it's less real, and it could knock on your own door any day. When I think about the new life around me, and the sadness I've seen, and the joy that I can find in every breath... that new shirt seems less and less important. I want to know at the end of the day that I fought the good fight, whether it means working a few extra hours or giving up the new book I wanted. There are people and causes in this world that are much bigger than I am, and I'm done pretending my life is as solitary as it is. I am the center of my world because everything I do goes through my mind, and I interpret my surroundings. And I see that as power. I have the ability to give, to fight, to help and to spread the world. To see celebrities and musicians and every day people coming together to fight the cause that isn't left or right or american or any other stupid label but instead is human. Is good and right and honest. Makes me think our politicians could learn a thing or two from that six year old. Just, please give five minutes of your night up to think about this. See if there's one thing you could give up and use that money to help this cause. Or maybe someone you can tell. Or even just a prayer to give or and positive breath to take. Something. Anything. There is no one in the world who doesn't have anything to contribute. Your life is beautiful. So let's share some happy with the rest of the world. Stand Up To Cancer. just click.